Senior Spotlight: Charles Terrell’s College Essay

My name is Cheese. I don’t know why. I could make up some profound meaning like I get better with age or it reflects my maturity to have aged like a fine Bitto Storico, but I truly don't know why the nickname was given to me. It could be an insult, a reflection of a trait, or simply because Cheese sounds like Charlie. It’s a mystery to a title I’ve carried for six years.

This unknown definition of Cheese as my label for so many years left me weary of its use. Even when I went from middle to high school, the nickname followed me, and the possibility of anyone knowing what the nickname meant vanished, but it still left me anxious. What if others thought Cheese was an insult and used it as one against me? What if they used it to mock my appearance? What if others simply used it because it sounds funny? I was as unsure about the origins of my nickname as others but the gnawing feeling of what the sobriquet meant about me ate away at my perception of myself.

With all the stress of my most common name, I went to ask the source of this name bestowed upon me: my best friend from middle school, Ralph Edward Lowenstein Jr., or by his own self-appointed nickname, Brofessor Meow Meow. Calling him, I was filled with a feeling of frisson, my excitement and hesitation weighing equally as I finally popped a question that would answer what I let define me for so long. Then he picked up, and I asked why he named me Cheese so many years ago, I got my answer:

“I don't know, I forgot.”

He forgot. The origin of my nickname for six years was lost. Cheese meant nothing anymore. It was no longer an insult, nor a trait; hell, it could not even be because Charlie and Cheese sound similar. The name Cheese was now a blank slate. It had no meaning, but I realized, it could also have any meaning I wanted it to have. My identity was no longer bound by the perception of others; it was bound by how I perceived it. The anxiety of my nickname was gone, and I could instead assign Cheese to all the qualities of myself I wanted. Cheese now could mean I have a rich personality, flavorful and savory. 

So, I charge forward as Cheese. I show my sharpness, my inquisitive nature, and my ability to shepherd others, leading with determination and attentiveness. Names carry stories, and the story of Cheese is blank now, so with each action I take and the things I do as Cheese, I build this story and make it my own, and make it one I’m proud of as I finish high school.

As I move into college, and my identity is reshaped as I transition into my first years of independence, I must decide what new identity I want to take on and if a nickname comes with that. Cheese is a nickname I have conquered and embraced, but as I develop into an adult, I also develop a new understanding of myself. I want to be greater as I leave my adolescence behind, to climb higher and soar more than Cheese ever did, to hear my nickname and not feel any anxiety or doubt but instead feel pride; I want to be Charles the Great, I want to become Charlemagne. A great Charles is known for his accomplishments, and while I don't plan to create the Holy Roman Empire, I plan to set my mind to my goals and to succeed in them with such intensity and vigor that I couldn’t be anything other than great. I will pursue my interests, from politics, to science, to charity, to lacrosse in a way that deserves the title of Charlemagne.